Confused and Curious
by RedHeadedWoman91
Summary: The confusion and curiosity stays with her for the rest of her life. She never does forget the Doctor, the man who saved her from herself. And he never forgets her or his own confusion and curiosity about the girl who brought him back.


He walks along the bridge beside the river, not really paying attention to where he's going. Night has fallen and the moon is full and bright. He can hear the water moving beneath him and he wonders, briefly, where it's going. Suddenly he stops and turns around. A girl is sitting on edge of the bridge, staring down into the murky water almost twenty feet below. He falters for a second; how did he not notice her? He cautiously walks towards her.

'Excuse me?' He speaks softly, not wanting to startle the girl. She looks up sharply and he can see the tear tracks on her cheeks and her red eyes. She stares at him accusingly. 'I'm the Doctor. What's your name?'

'Emily.' The girl is suspicious of him and he can't blame her.

'Emily,' he says her name gently and her eyes soften slightly. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine.' Her walls are thick and hard to break through. She glances down at the water again and fear flickers across her face.

'You sure?' He asks her. The girl looks at him and nods slowly, clearly wondering what this stranger wants. 'Okay, well good bye, then.' He turns and begins walking away very, _very _slowly. He hopes.

'Wait!' The girl's call is desperate. He stops, relieved, and faces her, waiting. 'Who are you?'

'I'm the Doctor.'

'No, I mean your name.' The girl is frowning. She's confused and curious.

'That is my name.'

'Really?' Her frown disappears and is replaced with disbelief. 'That's not much of a name.'

'I think it's a good name.' He counters easily. He likes talking to her.

'Okay, okay,' she holds up her hands in defeat. 'Why are you here?'

He sighs and walks back to stand beside her, arms resting on the railing the girl is sitting on. 'I'm trying to forget.'

'Forget what?' She's more curious than he gave her credit for. He likes her even more. She's interesting.

'My memories.' He answers her question simply not sure if he's ready to talk about it.

The girl watches him closely. She can't see his eyes properly and regrets it. She likes seeing people's eyes when talking to them. The windows to the soul, she thinks. 'What memories?' He glances at her and she sees his eyes up close for the first time. They are beautiful, and deep, and so very, very, _very _old.

'Memories of my friends. All of them gone now.'

'What happened to them?'

'You wouldn't believe me.' He turns away and looks up at the stars. The girl knows, somehow, that there is more to this man than she can see.

'You'd be surprised at the kind of things I believe,' the girl looks up at the stars as well. They are like little candles, pin pricks of light coming from millions of miles away. She glances down at the flowing river and almost throws herself in then and there. She wonders if the man would try to save her, and in that instance she knows he would, though she can't possibly understand why. She suddenly notices that he is watching her.

'Can I help?' he asks her gently.

'Can you turn back the clock?' she counters. There is a brief smile on his face.

'And why would you need that?'

'To save everything,' she sighs, deep and long. 'To save my family.'

He looks back out across the river. There is a sadness on his face. 'I'm afraid that I can't help you. But I know what it's like to lose your family. My family were all killed a long time ago,' he pauses lost in his thoughts and memories. He shakes his head. 'What happened to your family?'

'Killed.' She answers simply. Then adds in a whisper 'By me.'

He stares at her, confused and curious. 'How?'

'I was driving and I lost control. They were killed.' She looks down at the river and he finally understands.

'They are at peace.'

'What happened to your friends?' She changes the subject quickly, needing to know someone else is in pain.

He sighs. 'One is lost, the other has moved on, and one has forgotten. I ruined their lives.' He adds as an afterthought.

'I'm sorry.' She whispers.

'Same to you.' He is equally quiet.

For a time they are silent and staring. They stare at the stars, the water, the world around them. Both are lost in their memories of those they have lost and their utter desire and need to see them again. They draw comfort from each other. Strangers united in grief and loss. Both needing the other, and yet saying nothing. What can they say?

The girl watches the man and sees something frightening in him, and yet she knows that she has nothing to fear from this stranger. He won't harm her, but he wants to hurt someone. Anyone, just not her. He suddenly seems older than his features would suggest and she knows that he has seen and done things that she will never know. He is alien and belongs to something not entirely human. And yet, he is humanity all rolled into one. The good, the bad and the downright ugly. All trapped in one body. Her heart goes out to him but she doesn't touch him for fear of breaking him. He is, she decides, the most fragile thing she has ever seen, but there is a strength about him that is daunting. This man, this Doctor, _is _humanity.

'They will always be with you, Emily.' He catches her eye and she can't look away. 'They will be watching over you.'

'That's what scares me.' She admits.

'Don't let it. That's what will destroy you. Your life is more precious than you could ever possibly know. You can live without them, just as they would want you to. You can't blame yourself.'

'Neither can you. Would your friends want you to blame yourself for their fates?'

'No, probably not.' He is lost to his memories again before dragging himself back to her. 'Keep living, Emily.' He takes her hand and helps down onto the bridge. 'Keep living for them, Emily.' He starts to walk away but she stops him.

'Wait, Doctor. Take your own advice. Keep doing whatever it is you do for them.' He smiled at her.

'I will.'

'Thank you, Doctor. You've saved me from myself.'

'Of course, Emily. And thank you.' He smiled at her and walked away. This time she let him go. She watched as his shoulders straightened and he reached his full height. Although he stood tall she could see that he still carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, maybe more. She wishes that she could have helped him more. She breathes deeply and whispers another 'thank you' to her mysterious saviour. She watches him until he finally disappears from her view and she begins to make her way home. She can live.

The confusion and curiosity stays with her for the rest of her life. She never does forget the Doctor, the man who saved her from herself. And he never forgets her or his own confusion and curiosity about the girl who brought him back.


End file.
